is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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