She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
