Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
