I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
