At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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