i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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