Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
