it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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