an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
