i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
