I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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