walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
