Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
