I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
