I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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