ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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