Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
