Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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