i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
