TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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