also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
