no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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