Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize