my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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