Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
