Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
