Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
