went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
