TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize