i need an iv and a liver transplant
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
