One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
