Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
