we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
