i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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