these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
