Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
