Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Found your dick twin last night
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
