you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
