I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
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I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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