I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
