i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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