I'm lost and stupid without you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
