a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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