My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize