Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
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Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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