Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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