I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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