You just made me feel so damn special
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
