help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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