She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nutella sex= disaster
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
