Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
