Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
