Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
