:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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