Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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