Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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