is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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