and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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