What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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