am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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