I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
