I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
