Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think people are normalizing furries
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
