That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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