New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
God, I missed his penis.
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