What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
