Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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