What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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