She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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