Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize