just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
