Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
